Tassie52 wrote:
If anyone chooses to reply, I ask that they only speak about their own experiences and that they do so honestly. No sweeping, unsubstantiated generalisations; just, "this is how it is for me".
haggisv - stop reading now cos this is a long post
Ok here goes. My own experiences ont his forum.
There have been three occasions in three years I can remember when I have crossed swords with forum members which has resulted in moderator involvement - and I hasten to add on none of these occasions was that forum member any of the people who you ask not to comment in reply to your post. On each of these occasion I found the moderators behaviour to be fair - even though I did not always agree with the outcome.
I have found this forum to be a place where personal opinions are asked for and expressed. Sometimes I take issue when opinions are passed off as fact, or as the voice of the majority, or experiences passed off as being someones own when in reality they are borrowed from others. And in those occasions where it bothers me enough I will ask a question to clarify my understanding of something or challenge the member concerned. And in doing so I've learned two things here
1. Fight the battles that matter to me -and which can be won. I know I've read recently it's better to fight and battle and lose than not fight it at all, but I tend to take a different approach - why waste time fighting a losing battle when the energy wasted there could have been spent fighting a battle which could have been won but was never fought because my energy was elsehere fighting a losing battle - if that makes sense!
2. Go into things with an open mind and be willing for my opinion to be changed by the discussion. You name MNNB directly in your post. My experiences with MNNB have been mixed. I have a lot of empathy in that my own experience of my own national associations actions and the impact of the ITTF decisions which filter back down through my national association to my own local league havae not always errr how can I put this - have not always been good experiences both in terms of organisational skills displayed by the national association and the decisions made and adopted at national association level which subsequently filter down to affiliated league level to be implimented or attempted to be implimented. And these experiences make me open minded to what MNNB posts. I also recognise MNNB raises a good many issues and questions and often does this simply by posting links or one liners to articles which by it's nature invites the forum member to investigate further and make their own mind up. Other times I think MNNB sails close to the line I personally draw for myself on what is suggested as fact and said on behalf of "everyone" and what is actually personal opinon.
However, although I'm sure forum members here recognise there is sometimes an uneasy "truce" between us, I certainly wouldn't say each time i log on to this forum "I do so obsessing about what landmines have been laid for me." Why? Well because I think MNNB and others have got more important things in their minds when they write posts than to try and provoke me. And if I think they are being sarcastic towards me, I either pm them directly or a mod - I don't linger on it and I don't hold grudges - lifes to short. So for me I don't find this forum "negative" or supportive of "negative" views. I find this forum a place where "alternative views", ones different to mine are expressed and supported.
You have been one of the contributors to these "alternative" opinion which has existed on this forum. I've enjoyed your counter balance to MNNB and others but I sometimes feel your acusation that MNNB and others as being negative and how it gets you down can also be applied to your own posts and how it makes me feel. By this I mean you spend so much time reacting to MNNB - you yourself have said you have an unhealthy obsession with MNNB - why?!!! Instead of spending so much time reacting to what MNNB has posted and entering into a merry go round of similar discussions, why not be proactive and post elsewhere the good things you see in table tennis - like in your own blog. You can do this type of thing without having to reference MNNB quite easily. You could have started more of your own positive threads which aren't instigated by something MNNB or others you mention. I would have enjoyed reading your threads, positive threads in their own right not posts drowned out in amongst "negativity". In that sense, it's a pity for me that you weren't more proactive rather than reactive.
And lastly this brings me to my experience of the silent majority on this forum. I seldom receive pm's from anyone here, either pro or anti what I think - I sometimes get thanks added to posts and they are duly noted and appreciated, but I don't post here to get thanks, or pm's I post to share my own experience and I recognise that many many other people here either don't have the confidence, or feel they have nothing extra to say or chose to hide behind others for whatever reason. And that's fine, this is a forum, it's each members right and choice to decide to post or not and what to post. But what I would say is that it took me many months to pick up the courage to post and when I did I found others on the forum who encouraged me to post further - not necessaryily directly in pm's but by the feed back and responses they gave to my questions. I think this forum goes out of it's way to do that - there are threads stickied about "introduce yourself", "threads about nominating members for "personal names" in their avatars as recognition for their contribution to the forum, the functionality to "thank" people for their posts and forum members who will make a determined effort to post a reply to someone new, to make them feel welcome - which is what they are.
As a forum we never will and probably never should all agree. Only through discussion and experience does understanding grow. We do discuss things on this forum and we do share experience and through gaining the confidence to post on this forum and spend time here reading threads I have learned a lot with the added bonus of making some friends - and for that I am grateful. And just because an experience or opinion may be different to mine does not make that opinion negative - it simply makes it different. If someone wants to constantly post what I perceive as critical comments about the ITTF here, let them. I do not want to be a member of a forum where everyone has to tow the "party line" or they are seen to be negative. And if someone wants to post positive comments about the ITTF here again let them - I may learn something from either of these two types of posts which may change my opionon on a topic.
In my personal experience whilst I've been here, I don't feel like the forum or certain members will turn on me or be allowed to treat me disrespectfully because a) I do know I can defend myself and b) I do know that the moderators will not tolerate behaviour unbecoming of a member on this forum. And if I do feel I'm being shouted down or "abused" then I have confidence that should I raise it with the moderators my concern will recieve a fair hearing - even if my concern may involve a moderator - and i mean any moderator. And I may find and accept my original opinon or perception of an event was itself wrong. That is my personal opinion based on my own personal experience. FACT.
You say you don't want people to try and convince you to stay so I'll end by saying this. For what it's worth my experience of you on this forum have been good. I like your enthusiasm. I like the diversity in opinion your posts bring. I like the discussion and issues your "healthy" conflicts with others can raise. As above I just wish you could have been more proactive and less reactive with your posts.
I have found this forum gives it's members a platform on which they can be heard. How we chose to take advantage of that platform is more a reflection of us as individuals than the forum itself. To leave this forum when in my opinion it offers you an excellent opportunity to be proactive should you chose to be so? That's a shame and a waste.
Good luck in whatever you chose to do in the future Tassie52.