So long, and thanks for all the fishI've just finished re-reading GrumpyJoe's thread
It's time to go. It's fascinating for a number of reasons.
First of all, it's great to read the words of concern and support for Joe from forum members. Their appreciation for him is heartening - without friends, life would be pretty miserable.
Secondly, it's sobering to realise that Joe's concerns remain unaddressed. Nothing has changed, and nor is it likely to.
Thirdly, there is a lot of comparing ourselves to other forums and patting ourselves on the back. We congratulate ourselves on being friendly, even though the evidence (Joe's imminent departure) would suggest otherwise.
Finally, Joe stayed. And, as far as I can see, has managed his ongoing participation without succumbing to the temptation to get dragged back into the garbage.
What an extraordinary achievement that is. Joe, I salute you.
I fluctuate between awe and confusion about the ability of some (perhaps even many) members to be thoroughly pissed off by the behaviour of others and yet not get drawn into sarcasm and sniping. Why awe? Because I know that I simply don't have that same ability. Why confusion? Because I genuinely don't understand how it is possible to ignore the constant irritation of others.
Sad, isn't it, that a responsible, compassionate, 60 year old guy can't stop picking at scabs? Because that is how I'm increasingly spending my time on this forum. Rather than logging on to the forum with excitement, nowadays I do so obsessing about what landmines have been laid for me. Now I know that this is very unhealthy behaviour - mentally unhealthy, that is. The rational part of my brain tells me a number of things that my irrationality refuses to accept. I know that mnnb doesn't deliberately post his crap with the intention of baiting me; I know that those who post in the "guide to cheating" section are well within the rules of the forum; I know that TT is only a game and most definitely not a matter of life and death. I know all of these things and yet I can't stop picking.
So, it's time for me to go.
Except, of course, it's not that easy. There remains the question of the manner of my departure. There once was a member called Speedplay. His departure has caused all sorts of negative comments along the lines of "I don't agree with the way he left". Huh? He left. What was he supposed to do? Beg to be allowed to stay? Write a tearful farewell loosely based on Oscar speeches - "I'd like to thank my family for all their support and my agent and my dog and my agent's dog..." As far as I can see, Speedplay had had enough and he went. Good for him.
Unfortunately, I have an ego problem. (I take some small comfort from being honest enough to recognise that it is my ego problem.
) I know I'd like to receive the kind of support that Joe got and which convinced him to remain. And I also know that there is a certain level of support for my ongoing participation on the forum, even from one or two folk who actively disagree with me on most issues. But is the ego massage worth the aggravation of staying? I think not.
So I choose this as the manner of my parting:
1. I'm posting this farewell discourse here and not in a new thread. Hopefully that limits the amount of fuss.
2. There are a few things I want to put out there before I go (a last minute rant, if you will).
3. I don't want replies offering me encouragement to stay.
4. If anyone chooses to reply, I ask that they only speak about their own experiences and that they do so honestly. No sweeping, unsubstantiated generalisations; just, "this is how it is for me".
5. I'm not inviting people to PM me wanting to stay in touch. I am notoriously bad at corresponding and I'm also aware that I don't have very much in common with others. We may share a whole lot here, but friendship requires a real world relationship.
6. On Friday, 31 August, I'm going to log on for the last time. I'm asking that the next day haggisv will work his administrator's magic and remove me from the list of members and will make it impossible for me to rejoin. That way, it will be finished.
The final rant1. Why is it not possible for me to express my opinions on this forum? Specifically, why is it not possible for me to criticise the negative behaviour of others? My inbox is full of two kinds of PM - those explicitly thanking me for my battle against the negativity of the forum, and those from mods telling me to pull my head in. "This is a friendly forum" goes the mantra, so I'm not allowed to be critical. But that same standard is not applied to those who are deliberately and unequivocally critical and unfriendly to Adham Sharara and the ITTF. The game seems to be that there anyone can say anything and they are not held to account. One memorable post even suggested that Adham's wife is unfaithful to him. And yet we're supposed to be a friendly forum. A number of PMs to me have pointed out that Adham is a public figure and therefore we can say whatever we like to say. On the other hand, pushblocker (who is also, given his widespread notoriety across the TT community, a public figure) can't be criticised for cheating. For me there is clearly a double standard at work, but my suggestions that this is so have fallen on deaf ears.
2. I don't believe in conspiracy theories. Sorry to be so blunt, but Elvis is not alive and well, 9/11 was caused by terrorists, and reptilian humanoids are not controlling the governments of the world. I know this may come as a shock to some. There is a certain amount of mindless conspiracy theorising that goes on in this forum. Never has anyone presented a shred of evidence to support their claims of corruption in high places, but that doesn't seem to matter. I guess that is one of the joys of being a conspiracy theorist: the lack of evidence proves that someone is hiding something! Sure. And my cat is the evil mastermind behind the frictionless long pips ban. I asked her and she refused to answer!
3.
mynamenotbob has the greatest blog on this forum or any other TT forum I have come across. When it comes to passion for the sport, I don't think there is anyone to touch him. His level of commitment borders on obsession. But I find his contributions regularly demeaning of others, overwhelmingly blinkered when it comes to any kind of officialdom, and so negative as to be soul destroying. The latest farce is illustrative: his signature rejoices in the ignorant comment of one journalist about our game and he denigrates the comments of a different journalist who finds our game attractive -
The best live sport I've ever seen. At the same time, he deletes posts from the thread (which is not his own blog) and doesn't have the courtesy to reinstate what were valid, on-topic comments. N.B. This is not an unfair attack on mynamenotbob; it is a simple statement of what took place. If you don't believe me, simply go to the thread. There you will find that the first post is mnnb's (as if he was the good guy who started the thread) and that the original posts were removed by him. Nothing has been reinstated, even though I have received a PM from another mod clearly stating that there were valid comments included in what was removed.
Given my own unhealthy obsession with mynamenotbob, is it possible for me to continue as a forum member? No. Being a wise forum member, I've checked the User Control Panel to see how I can limit my interactions with certain folk I deem to be "Foes". But, it's not possible for me to set mynamenotbob as a Foe. He's a moderator, and moderators are exempt from the mechanisms which I might use to limit my angst. Every single time he posts, up he pops in the
View active topics, and - sick puppy that I am - I'm drawn back into the garbage.
4. What happens to those who don't like the direction that the forum is taking? As I said above, I have a number of PMs in my inbox supporting my efforts to hold the forum accountable for its behaviour. (You know who you are.) This isn't a game about who has the most support. This isn't childish pissing up the wall to see who goes highest. I know that on any given day of the week, mynamenotbob, roundrobin, pushblocker and smartguy all have far more allies than I have (and far more important allies). I know that, when it comes to level of support, I am in the minority on this forum. haggisv tries to tell me that this forum is open to all perspectives and opinions. While I admire his optimism, the reality is that he is not part of the minority that constantly battles against the negativity of so much here. How many times do we have to be told that the ITTF is ruining the sport? (Even though that may not be our experience.) How many times do we have to hear about the millions who left the sport when frictionless long pips were banned, even though there is no evidence to support that view? How many times do we have to hear how unpopular our sport is, how unwatchable it is, how boring it is? Quite frankly, I'm angry that this negative viewpoint dominates this forum.
Those of us who hold a different view are censored - we are not allowed to criticise because it is unfriendly.
Someone once said, "If you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the problem." If I'm unable to work towards a solution to the negativity of the forum (witness my comments continuing to be deleted from the previously mentioned thread) then simply staying silent makes me a part of the problem. There is much about this forum I have enjoyed and some I have loved. Alex's work as Admin. is quite extraordinary and his contribution to TT deserves to be recognised with some sort of award. I would never have got Silky Sally and Black-eyed Suzie if I hadn't read the inspirational posts by Ross Leidy. The guy is extraordinary and fabulous to work with. I've found Debater's posts really engaging and I've loved his willingness to test stuff rather than just accept conventional wisdom. I've enjoyed some trans-Tasman rivalry, wondered about the technicalities of balsa in Achim's blades, loved reading ian demagi's comments on short pips, plus I've spent countless hours watching videos - mainly of defenders.
And I guess this is my parting shot - my greatest critics haven't got a clue about who I am or what I like. Why have I been a passionate member of this forum? Because I am a defender. Joo Se Hyuk epitomises for me the extraordinary heights to which our game can rise. No, I don't think he's the greatest player around and no, I don't think he'd be world champion if he could play with flps. But that doesn't mean I don't watch and marvel at his skill. Others have been far more focussed on arguing with me than ever recognising a kindred spirit. Well, that's their loss I guess.
The following members are
not welcome to leave comments here:
mynamenotbob
roundrobin
smartguy
pushblocker
(plus anyone else who treats their pips in order to cheat)
It's my blog and I will exercise my right to remove posts I find offensive.I would ask haggisv one last favour (and he has already done me many, many favours): leave what I have said here. Others will judge me on the basis of what I say without any need for mods to step in and make it all look nice. After Saturday, normal transmission will resume.