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PostPosted: 10 Sep 2012, 15:43 
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The Unprogrammable Player
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Knorben wrote:
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
:D


:rofl: good one, haven't heard this one.

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PostPosted: 17 Sep 2012, 21:31 
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Some food for thought: The one you trust to sensibly invest all your money is called ... your broker.

:?:


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PostPosted: 15 Apr 2016, 16:22 
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The Court Jester
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During one of his campaign trips Donald Trump is visiting an elementary school and goes into one of the classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asks Mr. Trump if he would like to lead the discussion of the word “Tragedy.” So he asks the class for an example of a tragedy.

One little boy stands up and offers: “If my best friend who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy.”

“No,” says Mr. Trump, “that would be an accident.”

A little girl raises her hand: “If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.”

“I’m afraid not,” explains the exalted businessman. “That’s what we would call a great loss.”

The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. Mr. Trump searches the room.

“Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”

Finally at the back of the room, a boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: “If a private jet carrying you was struck by a missile and blown to pieces, that would be a tragedy.”

“Fantastic!” exclaims Mr. Trump, “That’s absolutely right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”

“Well,” says the boy, “because it wouldn’t be a great loss and it probably wouldn’t be an accident either.”

(Please note: this is just a joke, no offence to Mr. Trump or his supporters.)


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PostPosted: 15 Apr 2016, 16:46 
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:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

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PostPosted: 15 Apr 2016, 22:03 
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Count Darkula
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Note that the teacher tests Mr. Trump on his scientific knowledge in here...and his answer is TRAGIC! :lol: :lol:


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PostPosted: 15 Apr 2016, 22:20 
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Do you know the real reason why Brutus killed Julius Caesar?

One evening, Brutus was hosting a dinner for Caesar and several senators. Brutus had procured a limited number of expensive Macedonian sardines. So hard was this delicacy to come by, Brutus explained to his guests, that they could only have one sardine each.

So they passed the plate of sardines around, but when it got back to Brutus, they were one sardine short!

Enraged, Brutus demanded to know how many sardines each guest had taken.

Caesar replied, "Et tu, Brute."

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PostPosted: 16 Apr 2016, 01:08 
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If Donald Trump gets elected, there'll be hell toupée!

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PostPosted: 16 Apr 2016, 01:14 
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Count Darkula
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Japsican wrote:
If Donald Trump gets elected, there'll be hell toupée!


Actually, I'd say he'd be more than a hair's width above all the other choices. Maybe even a cut above. But the deck is probably stacked against him. He's only a lowly billionaire after all :P

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PostPosted: 16 Apr 2016, 17:23 
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Goes to 11
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shaolinTT wrote:
Finally at the back of the room, a boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: “If a private jet carrying you was struck by a missile and blown to pieces, that would be a tragedy.”

“Fantastic!” exclaims Mr. Trump, “That’s absolutely right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”

“Well,” says the boy, “because it wouldn’t be a great loss and it probably wouldn’t be an accident either.”



:lol:

This is funny on so many different levels..

Iskandar


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PostPosted: 14 Sep 2016, 14:19 
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CTRL_ALT_Loop
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Why could it be useful to feed a clock?

Because a hungry clock will be back 4 seconds :P


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PostPosted: 14 Sep 2016, 14:40 
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keme wrote:
Why could it be useful to feed a clock?

Because a hungry clock will be back 4 seconds :P


Well damn. I'll be using that one on my gf later haha see how she will react.

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PostPosted: 14 Sep 2016, 14:45 
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Count Darkula
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kim biceps wrote:
keme wrote:
Why could it be useful to feed a clock?

Because a hungry clock will be back 4 seconds :P


Well damn. I'll be using that one on my gf later haha see how she will react.


Why should you never tell a clock joke to a blonde?

Cos she won't even get it the "second" "time" :lol: :rofl:

In fact it could take minutes or even hours :P

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S/U 1: Blade: Bty Gergely . FH Black Andro Rasant 2.1 . BH Red Tibhar Grass Dtecs
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S/U 3: Blade: Bty Gergely . No rubbers...thinking of adding Red Dtecs and Black Rasant
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PostPosted: 14 Sep 2016, 14:54 
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^ well damn. you're quick af, reminds me of my fren whos good with puns.

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PostPosted: 25 Nov 2016, 14:27 
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Bill Gates: "So, how's heaven, Steve?"
Steve Jobs: "Great ! It just doesn't have any walls or fences."
Bill Gates: "So...?"
Steve Jobs: "So, we don't need any Windows and Gates. I'm sorry, Bill, I didn't mean to offend you."
Bill Gates: "It's ok Steve, but I heard a rumor."
Steve Jobs: "Oh, what rumor?"
Bill Gates: "That nobody is allowed to touch Apples there, and there are no jobs in heaven."
Steve Jobs : "Oh no, definitely there are, but only no-pay jobs. Therefore there's definitely no Bill in heaven as everything will be provided free...."


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PostPosted: 25 Nov 2016, 14:57 
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Count Darkula
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Japsican wrote:
If Donald Trump gets elected, there'll be hell toupée!


Well he got elected....and it seems there's hell's toupee going on in the streets of the US.

Better shut the Gate on them and put them to work in better Jobs! :lol:

But who's going to pay the Bill for the damage? I guess she'll be Apples! :angel: :rofl:

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I'm always in the dark, but the Dark sheds lights upon everything!! :twisted: Beauty is only pimple deep! Beauty is in the eye of the pipholder!
S/U 1: Blade: Bty Gergely . FH Black Andro Rasant 2.1 . BH Red Tibhar Grass Dtecs
S/U 2: Blade: Bty Gergely . FH Black Hexer+ 2.1 . BH Red GD Talon
S/U 3: Blade: Bty Gergely . No rubbers...thinking of adding Red Dtecs and Black Rasant
Aussie Table Tennis Shop / Aussie Table Tennis Facebook Page / Equipment Review Index / Read my Reb Report Blog: click here.


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