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 Post subject: Let's share some jokes
PostPosted: 07 Aug 2010, 14:30 
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The Court Jester
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After a busy week, weekend is here!
Let's share some jokes!
I will start first but you may have heard it before.

Mike finds himself behaving strangely and suffers from headaches recently, so he goes and sees a medical doctor. The doctor runs some tests and scans, and then he goes over his findings.

Doc: Mike, you know we have a left brain and a right brain...

Mike: Doc, tell me, I can take it.

Doc: Well, you left brain has nothing right about it.

Mike: :-o :sweat: How about my right brain?

Doc: Your right brain? Your right brain has nothing left.

:D


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PostPosted: 07 Aug 2010, 14:36 
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Do you feel lucky (young) punk?
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The ventriloquist and his dummy are doing the show. Turns out it is a half hour straight of blond jokes.
Finally, this blond stands up and starts to go off on him, "Thats enough of the blond stuff! Not all blonds are dumb".
He starts to appoligise but she interrupts him, "You stay out of this, I am talking to the little guy on your knee". :)


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PostPosted: 08 Aug 2010, 00:00 
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Count Darkula
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A team of Astronauts returned from a mission from Mars with a report that they had found a colony of blond martians living underground on the planet. The Space Program Commander labelled the mission a failure because the mission objective was to discover "intelligent" life forms on Mars. :lol:

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I'm always in the dark, but the Dark sheds lights upon everything!! :twisted: Beauty is only pimple deep! Beauty is in the eye of the pipholder!
S/U 1: Blade: Bty Gergely . FH Black Andro Rasant 2.1 . BH Red Tibhar Grass Dtecs
S/U 2: Blade: Bty Gergely . FH Black Hexer+ 2.1 . BH Red GD Talon
S/U 3: Blade: Bty Gergely . No rubbers...thinking of adding Red Dtecs and Black Rasant
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PostPosted: 08 Aug 2010, 00:03 
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Count Darkula
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A blond gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. She asked for a DNA test to prove she was the mother!

_________________
I'm always in the dark, but the Dark sheds lights upon everything!! :twisted: Beauty is only pimple deep! Beauty is in the eye of the pipholder!
S/U 1: Blade: Bty Gergely . FH Black Andro Rasant 2.1 . BH Red Tibhar Grass Dtecs
S/U 2: Blade: Bty Gergely . FH Black Hexer+ 2.1 . BH Red GD Talon
S/U 3: Blade: Bty Gergely . No rubbers...thinking of adding Red Dtecs and Black Rasant
Aussie Table Tennis Shop / Aussie Table Tennis Facebook Page / Equipment Review Index / Read my Reb Report Blog: click here.


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PostPosted: 08 Aug 2010, 00:09 
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Count Darkula
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A blond graduated with honours and distinguishment from Harvard......

Hairdressing Academy! :P :lol:

_________________
I'm always in the dark, but the Dark sheds lights upon everything!! :twisted: Beauty is only pimple deep! Beauty is in the eye of the pipholder!
S/U 1: Blade: Bty Gergely . FH Black Andro Rasant 2.1 . BH Red Tibhar Grass Dtecs
S/U 2: Blade: Bty Gergely . FH Black Hexer+ 2.1 . BH Red GD Talon
S/U 3: Blade: Bty Gergely . No rubbers...thinking of adding Red Dtecs and Black Rasant
Aussie Table Tennis Shop / Aussie Table Tennis Facebook Page / Equipment Review Index / Read my Reb Report Blog: click here.


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PostPosted: 08 Aug 2010, 00:24 
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Count Darkula
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Blade: Bty Gergely T5000
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BH: Tibhar Grass Dtecs
Why did the blond insist on visiting every Bank she came across on her world trip?

She had been told that Banks were places of interest.

_________________
I'm always in the dark, but the Dark sheds lights upon everything!! :twisted: Beauty is only pimple deep! Beauty is in the eye of the pipholder!
S/U 1: Blade: Bty Gergely . FH Black Andro Rasant 2.1 . BH Red Tibhar Grass Dtecs
S/U 2: Blade: Bty Gergely . FH Black Hexer+ 2.1 . BH Red GD Talon
S/U 3: Blade: Bty Gergely . No rubbers...thinking of adding Red Dtecs and Black Rasant
Aussie Table Tennis Shop / Aussie Table Tennis Facebook Page / Equipment Review Index / Read my Reb Report Blog: click here.


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PostPosted: 08 Aug 2010, 00:55 
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Rambo Looper Spin First Ask Questions Later
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A brunette name Sandra and a Blonde named Salley lived together as roomates in an apartment. The brunette was a party gorl who always came back late partying and the Blonde always got up early. The Brunette came back late one Sat evening from a bout of partying at 5 AM am Sally got upat 6 AM. Since she was health conscious, she chose orange juice to drink and because there is nothing else to do at 6 AM, she read the Nutrition Facts of the O.J. Sally suddenly stopped reading and begab to stare at the orange juice bottle. Time moves on to 10 AM, 12 PM, and 3 in the afternoon. Sally is staring at the O.J. bottle so hard, she is almost burning a hole in it. sandra stumbles into the kitchen table area at 4 PM and says " Sally, why are you staring so intensly at the Orange Juice bottle?" Sally doesnot breaker her focus and says "Shhsh, don't you see, it says concentrate !!"

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PostPosted: 08 Aug 2010, 21:13 
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Count Darkula
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A blond sat in her car applying lipstick as the cop who had just pulled her up for speeding approached. He stood at her window and said "Miss, I just pulled you up for speeding, why are you putting on make-up?" She replies to him "Well officer, I usually put it on, on my way, but I got here so fast I didn't have a chance!" :lol:

_________________
I'm always in the dark, but the Dark sheds lights upon everything!! :twisted: Beauty is only pimple deep! Beauty is in the eye of the pipholder!
S/U 1: Blade: Bty Gergely . FH Black Andro Rasant 2.1 . BH Red Tibhar Grass Dtecs
S/U 2: Blade: Bty Gergely . FH Black Hexer+ 2.1 . BH Red GD Talon
S/U 3: Blade: Bty Gergely . No rubbers...thinking of adding Red Dtecs and Black Rasant
Aussie Table Tennis Shop / Aussie Table Tennis Facebook Page / Equipment Review Index / Read my Reb Report Blog: click here.


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PostPosted: 16 Apr 2011, 05:35 
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The Court Jester
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A wife asked her husband to describe her .....

He said, 'You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K'.

She said, 'What does that mean?'

He said Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.

She said, 'Oh that's so lovely. What about I, J, K ?'

He said-- I'm Just Kidding---!!! :)


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PostPosted: 16 Apr 2011, 18:54 
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Count Darkula
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A gynaecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO
paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful
hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the
local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently,
and learned all he could.

When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared
carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When
the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score
of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, "I don't want
to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there
is an error in the grade?"

"The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly,
which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together
again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark." After a pause, the
instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through
the muffler, which I've never seen done before".

_________________
I'm always in the dark, but the Dark sheds lights upon everything!! :twisted: Beauty is only pimple deep! Beauty is in the eye of the pipholder!
S/U 1: Blade: Bty Gergely . FH Black Andro Rasant 2.1 . BH Red Tibhar Grass Dtecs
S/U 2: Blade: Bty Gergely . FH Black Hexer+ 2.1 . BH Red GD Talon
S/U 3: Blade: Bty Gergely . No rubbers...thinking of adding Red Dtecs and Black Rasant
Aussie Table Tennis Shop / Aussie Table Tennis Facebook Page / Equipment Review Index / Read my Reb Report Blog: click here.


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PostPosted: 16 Apr 2011, 21:22 
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I'm a jazz musician, and this is a joke I heard just recently:-

A woman is walking along when she spots a frog who is calling to her.
'Hey, miss, please will you kiss me, I'm a world-famous jazz musician, and I've been turned into a frog. If you'll only kiss me, I'll return to being a world-famous jazz musician and I'll give you all my earnings'.
The woman picks up the frog, stuffs it into her handbag, and keeps going.
After a few yards, the frog says 'Hey, aren't you going to kiss me? I'll give you all my earnings'
The woman says 'Are you kidding? do you think a world-famous jazz musician is more valuable than a talking frog?'


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PostPosted: 16 Apr 2011, 22:17 
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Why do elephants have big ears?


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PostPosted: 16 Apr 2011, 22:24 
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Smack Attack!
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wigpupl wrote:
Why do elephants have big ears?

We don't know

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PostPosted: 16 Apr 2011, 23:56 
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Count Darkula
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wigpupl wrote:
Why do elephants have big ears?


Cos trunk calls are always long distance and it would be hard to hear otherwise? :lol:

_________________
I'm always in the dark, but the Dark sheds lights upon everything!! :twisted: Beauty is only pimple deep! Beauty is in the eye of the pipholder!
S/U 1: Blade: Bty Gergely . FH Black Andro Rasant 2.1 . BH Red Tibhar Grass Dtecs
S/U 2: Blade: Bty Gergely . FH Black Hexer+ 2.1 . BH Red GD Talon
S/U 3: Blade: Bty Gergely . No rubbers...thinking of adding Red Dtecs and Black Rasant
Aussie Table Tennis Shop / Aussie Table Tennis Facebook Page / Equipment Review Index / Read my Reb Report Blog: click here.


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PostPosted: 17 Apr 2011, 01:58 
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why do elephants have Big ears?

Coz Noddy wouldnt pay the ransom.

Not always easy to fathom.


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