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PostPosted: 23 Sep 2016, 10:40 
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Ninja of the Holy Chtchet
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haggisv wrote:
Nice Japsican :clap: :clap: :clap: I can think of a few more names for you, whether you accept them will be a business decision for you. 8)

Money Spinner, Price Gouger, Cash Cow... and I'm sure I can think of a few others. :lol: :lol: :lol:


I like :up: 'em!

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PostPosted: 23 Sep 2016, 18:12 
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Kim Is My Shadow
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Japsican wrote:
013 Manufacturer Name: "Butter-Fried"

001 "Bitch Slap" Short pips. Specially designed short pips for flat hitters who don't really care if their ball lands on the other side of the table, but rather prefer to inimidate opponents through physical harm. MAX thickness only. Comes with glue sheet and opponent waiver form.

002 "Pimp Slap" Specially designed smooth rubber for the BACKHAND only. Available in 1.0/1.2/1.4/1.6/1.8 thicknesses. This rubber is for close to the table jerks, who over-Cho, over-let, don't apologize for nets/edges. Especially effective vs. opponents with illegal serves. Inflicts max damage in the thinnest sponge, on the heaviest rackets, thicker sponge availabe for delicate opponents who might not be able to tolerate harder corrective knocks to the face.
For the AGGRESSIVE back hand hitter, the pips-in rubber that Snoop Dogg, who represents the world, tested repeatedly to perfect. Will be the rubber that shines for both pimps and table tennis players alike.


Rubbers rejected. Failure to comply with 140 character limit for descriptions. Perhaps with the 001 rubber you'd better add a "warning - for adults only". I'll leave it to the forum members to decide if we should accept this rubber.

I like the Cash Cow rubber idea - mmm, can anyone think of a rubber you can buy today that would fit that description.

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PostPosted: 23 Sep 2016, 23:56 
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Ninja of the Holy Chtchet
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Debater wrote:
Japsican wrote:
013 Manufacturer Name: "Butter-Fried"

001 "Bitch Slap" Short pips. Specially designed short pips for flat hitters who don't really care if their ball lands on the other side of the table, but rather prefer to inimidate opponents through physical harm. MAX thickness only. Comes with glue sheet and opponent waiver form.

002 "Pimp Slap" Specially designed smooth rubber for the BACKHAND only. Available in 1.0/1.2/1.4/1.6/1.8 thicknesses. This rubber is for close to the table jerks, who over-Cho, over-let, don't apologize for nets/edges. Especially effective vs. opponents with illegal serves. Inflicts max damage in the thinnest sponge, on the heaviest rackets, thicker sponge availabe for delicate opponents who might not be able to tolerate harder corrective knocks to the face.
For the AGGRESSIVE back hand hitter, the pips-in rubber that Snoop Dogg, who represents the world, tested repeatedly to perfect. Will be the rubber that shines for both pimps and table tennis players alike.


Rubbers rejected. Failure to comply with 140 character limit for descriptions. Perhaps with the 001 rubber you'd better add a "warning - for adults only". I'll leave it to the forum members to decide if we should accept this rubber.

I like the Cash Cow rubber idea - mmm, can anyone think of a rubber you can buy today that would fit that description.

As a street-inspired organization, "Butter-Fried" refuses to change product descriptions, nor does it support limitations designed to quash creativity!

As such, the boardmembers met in Truth or Consequences New Mexico to discuss said rejection and have overwhelmingly decided to focus on producing equipment with the specific intent of being banned by regulatory agencies of any kind. Feel free to place our products on any tournament watch lists, as we prefer physical violence to settle issues with local judges and directors as it relates to tournament compliance.

With this very specifically targeted niche of consumers in mind, we are proud to introduce our 3rd rubber in to production, slated for release on Halloween of 2017:

003 "Banned" Long Pips. Fantastic super amazing long pips designed with many currently banned elements. The long pips are beyond the max height of 2.0mm. They have treated tips for glass level reversal. The pips themselves are tacky on one half of the stem, and the other half is frictionless. Boosted to the max. This is a rubber SO illegal, the Mexican Cartel has begun smuggling this material in at the US border at key points in at Matamoros/Brownsville and Juarez/El Paso border crossing points...along with heroin, cocaine, firearms, and Kinder Surprise Eggs...much to Donald Trump's chagrin. No other descriptors needed for this fine rubber, but we chose to purposely increase the character count by typing needlessly. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Nunc iaculis dictum suscipit. Integer cursus metus ac velit vehicula, et ullamcorper enim vulputate. Aliquam vulputate posuere ipsum, in condimentum metus dictum eu. Donec posuere ullamcorper nisi, vel mattis enim suscipit vitae. Suspendisse sollicitudin volutpat tellus tristique maximus. Proin feugiat magna a elit cursus pretium. Vestibulum volutpat, quam ac convallis eleifend, magna dolor ullamcorper lacus, sed ullamcorper mauris massa a dolor. Duis feugiat metus sit amet erat ullamcorper, sit amet aliquet magna imperdiet. Ut et lorem sed ligula tincidunt rutrum. Suspendisse ex dolor, gravida vel ornare ut, consequat sed massa. Donec eleifend lorem ipsum, eu pellentesque odio vulputate ut. Cash only.

(Charcter count: 1493)
:devil:

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Last edited by Japsican on 24 Sep 2016, 08:51, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: 24 Sep 2016, 07:46 
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Kim Is My Shadow
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Japsican wrote:
...as we prefer physical violence to settle issues with local judges and directors as it relates to tournament compliance


As per part 4 Of the OOAK LARF
Quote:
4. Any breach of the terms and conditions for OOAK LARF authorisation will be dealt with by deadly force.  Do not mess with us.


We would like to remind Forum Members we do not represent the Clown Loaches of the table tennis community, err I mean the lovely non voting table tennis public. If you don't like our limit on letters, comply with Part 5 of the LARF. Now go away you insignicant melted pile of butter.

Yours disrepectfully, Odd Bugger.

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PostPosted: 24 Sep 2016, 08:48 
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Ninja of the Holy Chtchet
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Debater wrote:
As per part 4 Of the OOAK LARF
Quote:
4. Any breach of the terms and conditions for OOAK LARF authorisation will be dealt with by deadly force.  Do not mess with us.


For clarity sake, we at Butter-Fried TT have thoroughly perused the rules of the LARF, particularly part 4, and remain:
a) unintimidated by idle threats from tulip-picking deplorables (henceforth to be referred to as "LARFers").
--and--
b) steadfast in our resolve to continue to purposefully render quality and intentionally ban-worthy equipment. We offer up that the LARF is a document, not-unlike the LARC, intended to limit your TT experience.

In addition, we would like to remind the hacks...err, LARFers that in actuality you have but one recourse and that is to reject and/or ban our equipment. Calculatedly, this plays into our business strategy, as illegality is an integral part of our products wide-reaching appeal. We would also like to remind the LARFers that simply not adding our equipment to the LARF is for all intents and purposes synonymous with "rejection" and therefore a lack of action is, in essence, in support of the Butter-Fried cause.

Therefore, we'd like to thank you ahead of time for the generous results of either your action, and/or inaction.

Japsican (C-E-OH)
Butter-Fried TT
666 Elephant Butte Ct.
Truth or Consequences, New Mexico, USA

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PostPosted: 24 Sep 2016, 08:50 
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PostPosted: 24 Sep 2016, 09:14 
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When are we starting up the OOAK B.L.A.R.F, ie Banned LARF?. I propose Japsican be in charge of that one.

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PostPosted: 24 Sep 2016, 09:51 
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Kim Is My Shadow
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Japsican wrote:



|-)

We have more than one option.



He's coming for you Butter-fried. Resistance is futile.

You have been assimilated.

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PostPosted: 29 Sep 2016, 16:30 
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From a completely unrelated thread:

LordCope wrote:
I think a crisp packet glued to a CD case would work for RPB.


This has potential, but we'll need more details for the LARF… :P

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PostPosted: 29 Sep 2016, 19:21 
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Kim Is My Shadow
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hangdog wrote:
From a completely unrelated thread:

LordCope wrote:
I think a crisp packet glued to a CD case would work for RPB.


This has potential, but we'll need more details for the LARF… :P


Looks like there is "pre-production" demand for a LordCope product! Question is, is LordCope interested in developing his product range or will he be looking to sell them on to a budding TT entreprenuer?

Over to you LordCope.

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PostPosted: 30 Sep 2016, 01:50 
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Ninja of the Holy Chtchet
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Debater wrote:
Japsican wrote:



|-)

We have more than one option.



He's coming for you Butter-fried. Resistance is futile.

You have been assimilated.

SUCCESS! Orders are up, revenue is up! Winner winner chicken dinner! (Butter-Fried board members hi-five in victory)

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PostPosted: 20 Oct 2016, 11:50 
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A new one:
The Stroke: Plays the shot that you should play every time - sponsored by Billy Squier.

Also, for the record, "Waterloo" is an SP, Debater!

:up:

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PostPosted: 25 Oct 2016, 15:57 
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ITTF 666 Rubbers:

666 The Schoeler - LONG - Long pips for people who hate long pips. Completely toothless, like its namesake.
666a The Weakert - IN - Inspired by our unelected ITTF president for weak players like him.
666b The Sharara - IN - Emits an offensive odor that disrupts your opponent’s game.
666c The Odd G.Tecs - LONG - This rubber has been banned for no apparent reason.
666d The Ian - IN - Inspired by ITTF senior propagandist Ian Marshall. Use this rubber and all your dreams will come true, no practice necessary.

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PostPosted: 27 Oct 2016, 19:59 
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Kim Is My Shadow
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Musicfreak0 wrote:
Also, for the record, "Waterloo" is an SP, Debater!
:up:

Musicfreak0 written earlier in this thread wrote:
Waterloo (OUT) Designed by ABBA and Napoleon: the shortest pimples there are.


Earlier application details would suggest your application details were incorrectly submitted as you simply listed them as "OUT". Consider yourself on a warning Musicfreak0. Accusing the omnipotent panel of LARF of being wrong is punishable by whatever means we the LARF deem fit but accusing us so publically is unforgivable. However as you are a minor and conducting research which we will be able to profit from at a later date, we will be lenient as long as you give all the credit for your research to us on your website.

However, one more transgression and the "boys" will take down your new website domain and then you'll really be in a spin :dance:

Japsican wrote:
SUCCESS! Orders are up, revenue is up! Winner winner chicken dinner! (Butter-Fried board members hi-five in victory)
And, after meeting in A Town Called Malice with the majority stakeholding boardmembers of Butter-Fried, we are pleased to announce LARF now hold the controlling interest in Butter-Fried and we are delighted revenue is up. Thank you for your assistance and assimilation.

MNNB - welcome to the party. I wonder when the Revelation of 666 "The Beast" will take place.

Revised edition with new entries and correction for MusicFreak0 error now published.

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PostPosted: 05 Nov 2016, 14:00 
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Debater wrote:
Musicfreak0 wrote:
Also, for the record, "Waterloo" is an SP, Debater!
:up:

Musicfreak0 written earlier in this thread wrote:
Waterloo (OUT) Designed by ABBA and Napoleon: the shortest pimples there are.


Earlier application details would suggest your application details were incorrectly submitted as you simply listed them as "OUT". Consider yourself on a warning Musicfreak0. Accusing the omnipotent panel of LARF of being wrong is punishable by whatever means we the LARF deem fit but accusing us so publically is unforgivable. However as you are a minor and conducting research which we will be able to profit from at a later date, we will be lenient as long as you give all the credit for your research to us on your website.

However, one more transgression and the "boys" will take down your new website domain and then you'll really be in a spin :dance:

Revised edition with new entries and correction for MusicFreak0 error now published.


Indeed, the rubber was submitted as an "OUT", but it was published as an "LP". This lack of reliability is simply unacceptable from such a high-profile organisation, and frankly, I think you're biting the hand that feeds you, in terms of research. You're going to have to get off the couch and do some of your own research again: it's been over a year, and now you're relying on the top-quality rubber produced by "The Sound of TT" for money. Never in my life have I seen an organisation more corrupt. Any further threats will see your best-selling rubbers discontinued.

Yours sincerely,
The Disgruntled Chairman of the company that's keeping you from falling under.

PS: A poor effort for such a well-regarded panel, really. :n:
PPS: You can throw whatever you like at us - we've got fast rubbers and 3D printed blades. Bring it on! :topspin:

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