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Announcing my imminent arrival
https://ooakforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=21763		 Page 1 of 8
Author:  CecilTheGreatest [ 14 Jan 2013, 23:44 ]
Post subject:  Announcing my imminent arrival
Hi everyone, my name is Cecil and I am the greatest tabletennis player you are ever likely to talk to on a forum such as this.

I'm 21 and I come from a place called the Monte Bello Islands off Western Australia where I am by far the best tabletennis player you will find here (and maybe the world - but I don't like to brag too much ;) ).

I am so good I have decided to move to mainland Australia to find out if there is anyone as good as me there. I'm figuring I won't so I will probably quickly become the number 1 player in Australia and then get sponsorship from all the big companies to go playing professional table tennis across the world to see if there's anyone as good as me there.

I haven't ever left my Island before and have only yesterday got my first ever internet access (they finally got around to getting service to us here) and I found this forum on my first web search in an attempt to find the best place to promote my arrival in Australia (I'll probably go to Perth to start with as I've heard there's some half-decent players there from Uncle Henry who went there 10 years ago). It seems our new internet connection is not compatible with some things here as I went to the video section and none of the videos will play, so I believe they must be in a different format to what my connection will allow. So I haven't been able to watch anything there which is most disappointing. Perhaps the administrator could reformat the videos to suit my connection?

This forum is very interesting although I think I know better than just about every post I have read so far about everything anyone has posted as I have done a lot of reading about tabletennis. I have read books and magazines that have come to the island about a swedish fellow called Waldner and I think he may be the one I need to seek out to prove my dominance over in tabletennis circles. Are there any other up and comers I could test my skills with? I am sure they will be eager to make their way to Australia when they hear of my prowess.

I find it interesting that so many people ask questions about equipment here when there really is nothing to it. I got 4 bats given to me on my 17th birthday and they have never let me down since I took them out of the plastic they came in (I got a net and 4 balls too). I use them all equally well. I look forward to giving tips to anyone here who is lacking in their knowledge in any way on tabletennis, I am sure I can help you play better. I may even be able to offer some personal coaching to Australians which I am sure will fund my journeys until I get sponsorship money rolling in, so look out for my future posts of where I will be making grand appearances later on. Oh and if anyone wants to help speed things up they can prepay coaching lessons to me, which will help me get to the mainland quicker.

While I have full confidence in myself to launch my own professional career any help or suggestions from anyone reading this will be given due consideration and my appreciation if I consider it worthy advice.

Look out for my posts, I am sure you will find them fascinating because like my boxing inspiration says "I am the greatest"!

regards Cecil D Pressus". :topspin:
Author:  tatlwai [ 15 Jan 2013, 00:10 ]
Post subject:  Re: Announcing my imminent arrival
Tell you what, Cecil, to test how good you really are, all you need to do is to play a guy named Haggisv; he is a looper and a chopper, and a player that I respect most in Australia.

It is easy to find him, just walk out of your room, stand in the corner of your street, yell out loud, "Haggisv". He will appear with his special blades and lead you to a nearby tt club.

Tell us later what your experience is. If you are close to his standard, you are almost there. :lol:
Author:  CecilTheGreatest [ 15 Jan 2013, 00:14 ]
Post subject:  Re: Announcing my imminent arrival
Wow, thank you so much for the tip tatlwai. Does he live in Perth? I will look out for this fellow when I get to the mainland. I am liking this forum more and more and realising I made the right step in joining here. I think it will prove very useful to achieve my goal of becoming known as "The Greatest Tabletennis Player Ever".
Author:  tatlwai [ 15 Jan 2013, 00:37 ]
Post subject:  Re: Announcing my imminent arrival
Oh, btw, welcome to our forum. You will find that most of our members are polite and friendly, of course, under the condition that you don't provoke them first. :)
Author:  CecilTheGreatest [ 15 Jan 2013, 00:52 ]
Post subject:  Re: Announcing my imminent arrival
Well I would never provoke anyone with anything but the truth sir, I was raised to respect the truth and to be truthful no matter how hard it may be.
Author:  Red_lion [ 15 Jan 2013, 09:15 ]
Post subject:  Re: Announcing my imminent arrival
Welcome to OOAK Cecil. Would you like to share your set up as well as your style of play? And whom have you beaten lately to declare you are the greatest table tennis in Australia?
Author:  cyber1call [ 15 Jan 2013, 11:32 ]
Post subject:  Re: Announcing my imminent arrival
Cecil

You need to be careful. This website is as you know maintained from mainland Oz, but web traffic stats show that most of its users live in the Northern Hemisphere. So in his polite and always accommodating way Haggisv has installed a bot that monitors your location and flips the text right-side up depending on which side of the equator you happen to be.

However, since your island just recently got its first internet connection, Haggisv's bot may not be properly calibrated for the Monte Bello Islands and everything you see here is ass-backwards. That is probably the explanation for why all of the threads here don't seem to make sense to you.

When you get to the mainland you will likely have to switch all of your red rubbers to black (and vice versa), stop playing with your right-foot and use your hand instead, and figure out how to keep that stupid little white ball from flying straight to the ceiling when you hit it.

In the meantime, before you leave your little paradise, you can read this forum by putting your head between your legs and reading it upside-down and backwards. That way things should be more clear and understandable.

Best regards from the USA!

 
Author:  loopkill [ 15 Jan 2013, 11:42 ]
Post subject:  Re: Announcing my imminent arrival
This is hilarious
Author:  carbonman [ 15 Jan 2013, 13:46 ]
Post subject:  Re: Announcing my imminent arrival
I don't think you can lay claim to being the best in Australia until you have tested your game against the superstars of the Dandenong Table Tennis Club. The Dandy club is easily the strongest in the Southern Hemisphere and if you could beat all-comers there then you would rightly be considered the nations number one.
Author:  RebornTTEvnglist [ 15 Jan 2013, 15:02 ]
Post subject:  Re: Announcing my imminent arrival
carbonman wrote:
I don't think you can lay claim to being the best in Australia until you have tested your game against the superstars of the Dandenong Table Tennis Club. The Dandy club is easily the strongest in the Southern Hemisphere and if you could beat all-comers there then you would rightly be considered the nations number one.


Surely this goes double for the Coburg TTC as well Carbonman :P :lol:

I don't think Cecil has an idea of the skill someone like you has, let alone the worlds best. I'd say he's lead a pretty sheltered life by the sounds (no offense Cecil and welcome to the forum).
Author:  Red_lion [ 15 Jan 2013, 15:58 ]
Post subject:  Re: Announcing my imminent arrival
I'm just hoping you won't be announcing your imminent departure after playing with those clubs mentioned :lol:
Author:  roundrobin [ 15 Jan 2013, 15:59 ]
Post subject:  Re: Announcing my imminent arrival
Great... Sebas-Aguirre is back.
Author:  CecilTheGreatest [ 15 Jan 2013, 16:40 ]
Post subject:  Re: Announcing my imminent arrival
to Red_Lion

The best player I have played is my cousin Roland. He is Uncle Henry's son, and he is one year younger than me. He would also like to turn professional, but I tell him until he beats me, he shouldn't even dream about it. The closest he has ever gotten to beating me in 21-16. He is a very good player in his own right as he beats everyone else here though.

And thank-you for wishing me the best to continue on the mainland when I get there and play at these clubs. Do you know if I must wear shoes to play at them?

to Cyber1call

I do not play with my feet, I usually have them planted firmly in the sand when I play! Why do you mention this Haggisv that Tatlwai has told me is currently Australia's best player in this way that he turns the forum upside-down? We are not that backward here to think such things true.

to loopkill

why do you find this so hilarious? Am I missing something or do you find cyber1call's post funny/weird like I do?

to Carbonman

Is this Dandenong Club located in Perth? It sounds like the place I should visit. Does Haggisv play there?

to Rebornttevglst

Am I correct to assume Coburg TTC is also a tabletennis club? It also sounds like a place I should go. I hope both Dandenong and Coburg are both in Perth. I will do a web search on them while I await your response. And I would not say my life has been very sheltered. We get battered by cyclones here quite badly at times. Of course we cannot play tabletennis outside in those times. I think it is you who does not realise how much skill I have in this game.

to Roundrobin

I don't understand your post, I am sorry. Is this Sebas-Aguirre a famous tabletennis player you are comparing me to? If so, I thank you for the compliment.
Author:  rodderz [ 15 Jan 2013, 16:49 ]
Post subject:  Re: Announcing my imminent arrival
if i remember correctly didn't the Atom bomb explode on your Islands, I hope everything is alright
Author:  Justas [ 15 Jan 2013, 17:22 ]
Post subject:  Re: Announcing my imminent arrival
I have a feeling this thread will become epic in it's own twisted way :rofl:
I just hope that all .... will be contained only in this thread and won't spread out to others.

Edit: it seems it spread out :swear:
Can we do something about it?
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