Going back to the OP, maybe there is a more arms-length way to handle this. Your son is taking lessons with a coach at this club, which you are paying for. I assume the coach and the adult with the attitude problem are not the same person.
Perhaps you should explain the situation to your son's coach, and tell him if it continues you fear your son will not continue playing, or maybe you will take him to another club where the adults have some common sense about how to talk to other people's kids.
Then that coach, who has some standing in the club, can tell the problem adult to STFU before he drives the coach's customers away. The coach would also gain more understanding of your kid, and possibly be able to help him deal with competition, pressure, negative thoughts/people and all that stuff that anyone who plays a sport has to deal with.
I am assuming you have some degree of confidence in the coach's judgement and basic attitude. If he says some version of "that's just how so-and-so is" then the club may not be the right one for you.
_________________ Smile in the mirror. Do that every morning and you'll start to see a big difference in your life.
Yoko Ono
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