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Let's share some jokes
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Author:  shaolinTT [ 02 May 2012, 07:56 ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's share some jokes

Did you know
The Goldberg Brothers - The Inventors of the Automobile Air Conditioner

Here's a little fact for automotive buffs or just to dazzle your friends.

The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.

The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.

Henry was curious and invited them into his office.

They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.

They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately.

The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent.

The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, 'The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed.

Now old man Ford was more than just a little anti-Semitic, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg's name on two million Fords..

They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown.

And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show --
Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max -- on the controls.

Author:  haggisv [ 02 May 2012, 09:12 ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's share some jokes

ROFL! Love it! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Author:  RebornTTEvnglist [ 02 May 2012, 14:30 ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's share some jokes

And equally as valid is the acronym FORD, which of course everyone knows means Fix Or Repair Daily! :P :lol:

Author:  so_devo [ 03 May 2012, 03:15 ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's share some jokes

.......or Found On Rubbish Dump.

Personally I preferred the acronym for LOTUS. loads Of Trouble Usually Serious!

Author:  michiganbob54 [ 03 May 2012, 05:40 ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's share some jokes

There were 3 men in a bar (a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead). They were rather drunk, and the brunette decided to place a stupid bet. "I bet I can collect more ping pong balls than you guys in one week!" he said. The blonde and the redhead both went for the challenge and said they would go for it. One week passed by.
The brunette returned to the bar first. Shortly after he got there, the redhead walked in. The brunette asked, "How many ping pong balls did you get? I got 150!" he gloated.
The redhead said, "I got 200! HA!! But where's that blonde guy that was here? Have you seen him?"
"Nope." said the brunette.
. Just then, the blonde rolled in to the bar in a wheel chair. He had two casts on his legs, a sling on his arm, and a neck brace. "You look like crap!" said the redhead. "How many ping pong balls did you get?"
"What? ! Ping pong balls? I thought you said King Kong's balls!

*why dont LION"S Eat clowns?????because they taste FUNNY..( my kids favorite joke)
Peace GIG
:Chop:

Author:  haggisv [ 03 May 2012, 23:34 ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's share some jokes

Great to see another Star Trek fan michiganbob54! :up: :up: :up:

Author:  so_devo [ 03 May 2012, 23:35 ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's share some jokes

haggisv wrote:
Great to see another Star Trek fan michiganbob54! :up: :up: :up:


We had the Seemiller grip, is that the Spock grip?

Author:  haggisv [ 03 May 2012, 23:40 ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's share some jokes

LOL :lol: :lol: :lol: The Spock grip on a 'mindmelt' blade gives you full control over your opponent's game :lol: :lol: :lol:

Author:  RebornTTEvnglist [ 04 May 2012, 00:33 ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's share some jokes

I'm not sure Mr.Spock would go for TT...its just not logical to do what we do! :lol: :lol:

Author:  michiganbob54 [ 04 May 2012, 01:03 ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's share some jokes

Yes, i have been a Fan forever. in fact SPOCK is the only one I havent personally meet. All of the other original cast members i have meet. Shatner is really short.
And yes..when I hit the ball hard I do use my VULCAN DEATH PUNCH". Its a fast push block off the high part of the APex.
you can call me in the future...SPOCKBLOCKER....LOL ROTFLMAO


Peace GIG
:Chop: :Chop:

Author:  shaolinTT [ 04 Sep 2012, 03:28 ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's share some jokes

Your Duck is Dead.

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary
surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet
pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's
chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and
sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has
passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the
vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean
you haven't done any testing on him or anything.
He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the
room. He returned a few minutes later with a black
Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the
duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the
vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out
of the room. A few minutes later he returned with
a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately
sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back
on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry,
but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably,
a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys
and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!"
she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my
word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the
Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

Author:  Knorben [ 10 Sep 2012, 11:16 ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's share some jokes

Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
:D

Author:  Justas [ 10 Sep 2012, 15:43 ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's share some jokes

Knorben wrote:
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
:D


:rofl: good one, haven't heard this one.

Author:  keme [ 17 Sep 2012, 21:31 ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's share some jokes

Some food for thought: The one you trust to sensibly invest all your money is called ... your broker.

:?:

Author:  shaolinTT [ 15 Apr 2016, 16:22 ]
Post subject:  Re: Let's share some jokes

During one of his campaign trips Donald Trump is visiting an elementary school and goes into one of the classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asks Mr. Trump if he would like to lead the discussion of the word “Tragedy.” So he asks the class for an example of a tragedy.

One little boy stands up and offers: “If my best friend who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy.”

“No,” says Mr. Trump, “that would be an accident.”

A little girl raises her hand: “If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.”

“I’m afraid not,” explains the exalted businessman. “That’s what we would call a great loss.”

The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. Mr. Trump searches the room.

“Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”

Finally at the back of the room, a boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: “If a private jet carrying you was struck by a missile and blown to pieces, that would be a tragedy.”

“Fantastic!” exclaims Mr. Trump, “That’s absolutely right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”

“Well,” says the boy, “because it wouldn’t be a great loss and it probably wouldn’t be an accident either.”

(Please note: this is just a joke, no offence to Mr. Trump or his supporters.)

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